“I was having a pretty turbulent time dealing with pressures – my in-laws, work and surprisingly, for once, nothing to do with fertility issues. Your counselling must have resonated on a much deeper level than I originally thought. It gave me the confidence to step away with kindness from problems that do not directly involve us.” RW, fertility client
Stress is increasing in our society and can have a very negative impact on your life. It can have physiological and psychological effects and if not dealt with can cause severe medical problems. Stress is linked to anxiety and depression and can aggravate these conditions.
We think of stress occurring when there is too much pressure in our lives; when we are overloaded, overwhelmed and cannot cope. For many of us stress is caused by not having enough time in the day to do everything we need to. It can also be caused by demands on the quality of our work: pressure comes from ourselves or others that lead us to believe we are not doing a job well enough. We don’t get satisfaction or pride in what we do and we might spend more and more time trying to do it better or get more done. This sometimes comes out of a perfectionist trait.
However, there is a range of other situations that can cause stress, including:
- Difficult relationships
- Being bullied or in an abusive relationship
- Worry about a situation, or a combination of events
- A life crisis
- Ill health
- Family member’s ill health
Stress manifests itself in a number of ways:
- Feeling anxious and worrying
- Irritability and anger
- Negative thoughts and blame
- Poor sleep
- Eating badly, losing or gaining weight
- Tension/clenching (fists, teeth)
- Driving too fast
- Racing heart, blood pressure increase
- Panic attacks
- IBS and other digestive problems
- Life-threatening medical problems
I definitely feel different a lot of the time now. Before (counselling) I felt lost and didn’t know who I was, now I understand things more. I have been able to recognise when I’m feeling low and have coping methods now which help pull me out before I spiral. SL
We have often learnt unhelpful ways of coping in our childhoods:
- Avoiding discussing issues and emotions
- Keeping busy/working too hard
- Denying or blaming others
- Smoking, drinking, ‘comfort’ eating
Our ways of thinking frequently do not help:
- Our values and beliefs can be based on ‘oughts’ and ‘shoulds’
- I need to be perfect
- I want to please people
- I am no good, of little worth
My counselling helps by a three-step approach:
- Emotional support: addressing the underlying issues that are causing stress
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): gaining perspective with negative thoughts
- Mindfulness relaxation: learning how to reduce tension, and finding a calmer and more positive lifestyle
This is individual, confidential counselling. For more information see How Counselling Works.
Please contact Sandra to discuss your situation and concerns.
